*The method used allows minimal crying!*
As new mothers we celebrate the joys of our new bundle but uncontrollably welcome fear into our minds. It's only natural for us to become scared of all the "what if's"... as for my fear - it was SIDS! I couldn't shake the thought of something uncontrollable happening to my precious baby girl. The moment I held her for the first time I KNEW she was safe where she was, in my arms. I could feel her every breath on my chest, every heartbeat and I preferred it that way.
With that being said, shame me if you will... I co-slept with my darling girl for what I thought would only be until the "peak" SIDS stage was over ( I was told 4-6 months ). I chose not to sleep in my bed in fear of her rolling off, as well as myself sleeping too deep. For the first 6 months I slept propped up on my loveseat (the things we do for our littles LOL)... talk about sacrifice! My husband would often sleep on the couch right beside us just to be near us and help out in any ways he could.
But, the day soon came where he suggested we move back to our room and bed. Six months on the couch was rough, yet I still couldn't shake not being able to feel my baby through the night.... so I modified how I slept in the bed to fit around her.
Fast forward to 10 months old where we then move into our new house, set up her room and my husband says it's time we should move her into her room. I did not disagree.10 months of co-sleeping was taxing and I was more than ready to have my own space again and some actual sleep!
I tested the waters with her naps... BIG FAIL! She was hysterical about the transition. It was new, and she wasnt for it.
At this point I was desperate to find a solution, so I asked a few friends what they had done and ALL of them said they had to let their little ones cry. I was being told left and right "It's a process and it allows them to self soothe.."
Needless to say I was nervous, but I did my research on the subject and decided to go with the more "assisted" method of sleep coaching. LOW AND BEHOLD this method worked for Mabree in TWO DAYS!
* SEE WHAT I DID HERE *
(Keep in mind this is just what worked best for us after tons of research, many failed attempts before hand and advice from friends who've been in the same boat. I AM IN NO WAY A SLEEP EXPERT. Feel free to change things around to fit your specific schedules as you see fit. Every child is different so no plan fits all. And consult with professionals about other methods!)
* SCHEDULE: *
* Mabree naturally wakes between 5 to 7 AM but we always aim to take her out of her crib after 6 AM. If waked before, we use the same method we are using during the night to get her back to sleep.
* When Mabree wakes, or if past 6 Am, we go to her with an enthusiastic "Good Morning!!!!!" Open the curtains/turn on the light and take her out of their crib to start the day.
* First nap will be at 9 AM ( Mabree tends to wake at 6:30 most days and still goes down for her first nap around 9-9:30 Am).
* For early risers ( wake before 6 AM ), make sure the first nap is no earlier than 8 AM... or to make things simple 2 1/2 - 3 hours after wake up.
* SECOND NAP for us starts at 12 -12:30 PM
* THIRD NAP is usually 2 hours after the second nap ends, we tend to keep that around 30-45 mins... We never let Mabree sleep past 4:30 PM.
*Bedtime routine starts around 6:30 Pm and she is down for the night around 7- 7:30 PM. NO LATER or she will sleep later in the morning therefore messing up her tailored schedule for day to day.
* SLEEP ENVIROMENT *
We were advised by multiple people to make sure the room is dark both at night and during naps. I highly suggest blackout curtains. We use the ones linked below and LOVE THEM!
We also use a music machine for both naps and bedtime. This plays all through the night at a loud enough volume that it cancels out anything else from outside the room! The exact one we use is linked below.. it doesn't have to be expensive to work tremendously!
* At this point all of Mabrees sleeping is done in her crib - sticking to the exact schedule every day that way she gets the hang of it.
*SLEEP METHOD WE USED*
The thing that everyone drilled into our minds was " CONSISTENCY IS KEY "... and trust me it IS!
I'm going to lay out a few days worth of time intervals of which you would check on your baby IF they are still crying when you lay them down.
Day 1 - We started with odd numbers to check on her once we laid her down. When we lay Mabree down remember it's after her bedtime routine that stays the same every single night so she is aware that it is almost bedtime. Once we walked out of the room the clock started at 3 mins. If she was still crying we would go in there NOT SAYING ANYTHING and pat her back for a few seconds to let her know we are in the area and she is safe -- we then would walk out and the time bumped up to 5 mins. We would repeat the same steps if she was still crying and the time would continue to go up by odd numbers (7,9,11...) until she fell asleep. The first night took her a little over an hour, and when she went down she was down until 7 the next morning. (If she were to wake we would have just repeated the steps all over again starting back at 3 mins, 5,7,9 etc.. until she fell back asleep because the goal was not to take her out of her crib until 6 AM... we were advised that picking her up would never allow her to self soothe therefore only teaching her that she can get what she wants.)
Day 2 - Everything is the same as before as far as consistent bedtime routine, except tonights time started at 5 mins, 7 mins, 11 etc until she fell asleep. We again didn't say words when we went in to pat her back. Tonight it only took her 30 mins to fall asleep and from this point forward she has been sleeping all through the night starting at 7 Pm - 6:30 Am!! If she had gone another night the time would have started at 7 mins, next night starts at an 11 min timer.
Nap times were a little harder but we never broke the routine and she never slept out of her crib until she had completely mastered the sleep coaching. Even now she sleeps in her crib 99% of the time, and maybe has taken one or two naps on my chest on a real bad/sick day.
(Side note: As stated above every child is different so no plan will work the same for every child.. if your child takes more than two days that's FINE! The biggest thing to remember is CONSISTENCY!)
I truly hope this helps you guys! I've been there when it came to feeling guilty, the crying even when i went in to check on her would just break my heart but she KNOWS I love her and she now wakes up every morning with a smile on her face. Her mood has completely shifted to a more independent and happy baby which in turn helped with other things for us such as walking away to clean the house while she's playing or eating, etc.
As far as any other products we use for Mabree, I will have those linked below if you want to check them out. She is 13 months old now and we still use all of these products every single day!
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Comment below to connect with me on your sleep coaching experiences and what you did that worked the best for you :)